Coming Full Circle

I’m reading this book called Everyday Sacred. It’s a book about- well, it’s hard to describe. It’s not the kind of book that flows, it’s more like a collection of short stories- I mean, short real stories, not “short stories”, like you were sitting at a table having tea with the author. In it, she tells a story about Helen, who lost everything in a fire- in unexpected ways, what she lost comes back to her- recipes, patterns- she believes something good will come out of it.

Other people find that what they give away is what people give back to them when they lose their possessions in the fire- one woman gets back something precious she nearly didn’t give away in the first place, one woman gets back things she gave away because she didn’t want them.

I pause to contemplate this, and catch a bit of the music that’s playing: “You’ve got to know that all you give away will come circling back to you…”

Maybe I should try being more selfless, more loving. I get mad when I think The Boy isn’t being selfless enough to me- isn’t that totally selfish of me?? Pot/kettle anyone? I just have to laugh at myself. I wonder if he’d notice if I started treating him the way I wish he’d treat me. I try for a while, but then I get impatient when he doesn’t do what he’s “supposed” to, but part of the whole activity is to not be attached to an outcome.

I feel inspired to give away $80- $20 to 4 people, just for the heck of it. If I give away money, maybe I won’t feel the lack of it. After all, who gives away money unless they have enough to give away in the first place? Will The Boy go along with this? Not likely- I have to do it anyway, with my money, not his. I think it will bring more money back to us, but that’s not why you do it- you do it because you will bless someone with your generosity.