Archive for August, 2008

New nicknames

I need to give my people new nicknames in this blog. I had a hard time thinking of anything when I started this blog, so I went with the very descriptive “The Boy” for my guy, and “Fairy Girl” for my fae child. (And she really is quite the pixie!) But lately, she is turning into more of a wildflower than the sanguine fairy child I gave birth to, (well, she IS two now), so now she’s going to be known as “Wildflower”. And I noted one day that my guy tends to go go go, but when he stops, he basically collapses into a coma. So, I’m calling him the Shark, since he has to keep moving or “die”. 🙂 Hope that makes sense.


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I’ve been trying to understand grace. I think it’s terrible that as someone from a Christian background, I didn’t take in grace with my mother’s milk. Grace should be a concept that I understand like I understand gravity. Why it’s not is another post for another time. But here is what I posted elsewhere, and would like to keep here for posterity:

So, grace and truth (Law/Torah) cannot exist without the other- Grace came from the Law.

Sin is “missing the mark” – I know I sure miss the mark of perfection every day.  So, I need grace every day. But grace cannot exist without the truth, the Law, and so that’s why it’s still important to keep Torah today.  Because Torah is God’s standard for living, and our measuring stick to show us how short we fall daily, and how much we need Him, need grace. I think I can add a prayer of thanksgiving to the end of my nightly prayers now, thanking God for the grace he extends me daily.

Thanks for letting me get my little lightbulb moment down.

Oh here is what I was reading when it hit me: http://gracefulparenting.blogspot.com/2008/01/grace-and-truth-i.html


I didn’t know of grace as a concept til I came here, and I have had a hard time grasping it. I mean, I’ve heard about grace all along, but I didn’t understand it until now. And I’ve had a hard time with the “under law/under grace” dichotomy- except, it’s not a dichotomy at all, you can’t have one without the other- I get it now!

About that blog. It’s one of my new favorites. That woman is a Christian, crunchy, waldorf homeschooling, traditional foods eating mama with a little one about a year older than mine. I can’t post comments in her blog because she won’t allow anonymous comments, and I’m not willing to sign up to that blog site just to post comments, but I love her blog. 🙂

Man, even rereading that now, I’m not sure I still get it…

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Back when I first posted about the fat issues I was having, I was reaching a turning point. It started at the new moon, and by the time the full moon got there, I’d made a decision and moved ahead on that path, and by the time the next new moon came, I was really over the whole fat girl thing. I didn’t want to think about it anymore, it was old news. The decision was that I wasn’t going to worry about my size anymore, because those who think poorly about me because I’m fat have no place in my life. Those who are close to me know me well enough not to care. But- that still left the issue that I feel my health is declining. Not because I’m fat, but I do think that getting fatter is connected. So, I decided to pursue health passionately, and see a naturopath. The journey to health is definitely two steps forward one step back, but as long as it’s going like that, at least there’s progress.

But, I wanted to remind myself of this page in the book I was reading “Fat Girls Guide to Life”. I didn’t find the book as a whole incredibly helpful or inspiring, but I did like this particular passage, as it relates to my fatness, my health, and other issues in my life:


“There are some friends who when they share their successes with you, you feel genuinely happy for them. And then there are those who when they share the good stuff, you feel jealous. It didn’t matter if you were in direct competition with them or not, it depended on the person sharing the news. I realized the people I was happy for were the same people who would also share the bad news with me. The jealously perpetrators only called to trumpet their success.

The ambivalent people were letting me know they were ahead of me, points-wise. They were insecure; I read into that insecurity and took it upon myself to be jealous (playing out the script). The good guys were rooting for me. I was happy for them, because I knew they’d be happy for me.

Now I see it all over the place. If someone rubs me the wrong way, I don’t immediately blame myself, I begin to wonder what’s up with her. ”

Giant lightbulb moment for me. I am always the one taking the blame for crap that happens. I was told over and over as a kid “you have to take responsibility for your own actions”- but you don’t have to take responsibility for OTHERS actions. And when people make you feel bad, IT MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE ABOUT YOU. Thank you, Wendy Shanker, for that. You gave me the strength to end a friendship that wasn’t working out for me. And made me *that* much more secure in myself, so I don’t do the same to other people.

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Neat Garden Idea

I’m reading an herbal book right now, and I just got this great idea for a children’s candy garden. It would have mint, liquorice, horehound, marshmallow, sassafrass, fennel, violets, roses, maybe lemon balm… what other ones can you think of? Sweet herbs, or ones that are traditionally used to make candy?

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Moon Stuff

I REALLY want to talk more about the moon soon, but right this moment, I need to put this here as a place holder- I WILL come back to it- me posting publicly is my accountability. 🙂


This year is the perfect year for a health makeover or job retraining. Stay fierce and steadfast in your progress; make sure you have an audience for your efforts. You know you’ll do anything for applause, and if people are watching there’s no way out but to be successful.

I think I”m going to get that WeMoon Calendar for 2009. Maybe 2008 too, if I can swing it, even though the year is more than half over.


In general the waxing First Quarter Moon phase calls forth a crisis in action! This corresponds in the plant cycle to the growth of a strong stem and leaf structure.

The waxing or building part of the cycle is half over! The distinctive half-moon appearance is like a wake-up call!

This energy pushes you to take decisive action. If you don’t take action that positively nurtures and cultivates your vision, the Full Moon could be an enormous negative wake-up call! Both quarter phases are symbols of crises. The First Quarter having to do with action. The Last Quarter having to with consciousness.

Last Quarter: Jul. 25

First Quarter: Aug 8

Full: Aug 17

New: Aug 31

Leo’s shadow is “Well, enough about you, let’s talk about me…” <– Sooooo so true- I’m sorry friends, if I come off this way- I’m aware, and I’m trying. ❤

Edit: Waxing Gibbous

The symbolic new moon seed now buds! Progress towards your “seed vision” should be well under way.

Ack! (Day at Jaymi’s)

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