I saved this from somewhere on the internet long before I even conceived Fairy Girl. I remember thinking, “I wish someone would say these things to ME.” And the woman who posted it originally told me I could parent myself the way I wished I had been parented, and say those things to myself. I took that, but didn’t know what to do with it- I was barely an adult then, 19 or 20, and truly, still needed my parents to do the parenting. Now I’m slightly older (only slightly, I emphasize :)), I see that I CAN parent myself, alongside Fairy Girl. I intend to print this out, post it on the fridge, and make an effort to say at least one thing off the list to dd each day, the goal to get all of them once a month. And of course, say them to myself, when I need to hear it.
Twenty Somethings To Say To Children
1. I love you! There is nothing that will make me stop loving you. Nothing
you could do or say or think will ever change that.
2. You are amazing! I look at you with wonder! Not just at what you can do,
but who you are. There is no one like you. No one!
3. It’s all right to cry. People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are
hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely. When
they feel. Big people cry too. I do.
4. You’ve made a mistake. That was wrong. People make mistakes. I do. Is it
something we can fix? What can we do? It’s all over. You can start fresh. I
know you are sorry. I forgive you.
5. You did the right thing. That was scary or hard. Even though it wasn’t
easy, you did it. I am proud of you; you should be too.
6. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I made a mistake.
7. You can change your mind. It’s good to decide, but it is also fine to
8. What a great idea! You were really thinking! How did you come up with
that? Tell me more. Your mind is clever!
9. That was kind. You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person.
That must make you feel good inside. Thank you!
10. I have a surprise for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s for no reason at
all. Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.
11. I can wait. We have time. You don’t have to hurry this time.
12. What would you like to do? It’s your turn to pick. You have great ideas.
It’s important to follow your special interests.
13. Tell me about it. I’d like to hear more. And then what happened? I’ll
14. I’m right here. I won’t leave without saying good-bye. I am watching
you. I am listening to you.
15. Please and Thank You. These are important words. If I forget to use
them, will you remind me?
16. I missed you. I think about you when we are not together!
17. Just try. A little bit. One taste, one step. You might like it. Let’s
see. I’ll help you if you need it. I think you can do it.
18. I’ll help you. I heard you call me, here I am. How can I help you? If we
both work together, we can get this done. I know you can do it by yourself,
but I’m glad to help since you asked.
19. What do you wish for? Even if it’s not yet time for birthday candles and
we don’t have a wishbone, it’s still fun to hear about what you wish for,
hope for, and dream about.
20. I remember when… I will never forget… When you were little… I will
always remember the time… I loved you then, too…I always have a picture
of you in my mind.
–This is excerpted from an article called “Advocacy: Being the Voices
Children Need to Hear.” Written by Cina Deaton
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